Law School Ruined Me

This weekend, I had some fun asking people the various reasons why they went to law school. As can be appreciated, the answers varied drastically, from people who went to law school to fight for the little guy, to people who just didn't know what they could do with their polisci degree. 
We all have a different path that led us to law school, something that nudged us into this life. For me, it was a desire to be better than where I came from. I was the first person in my family to even get a university degree. I was the product of teenage pregnancy, adopted and raised by alcoholics, and I spent my high school years with my small town's eyes on me - always watching to see if I'd pop out a baby and restart the cycle. 
So I got the fuck out of there. Moved across the country and took out loans to attend a decent school in another province. Fought tooth and nail to get into law school. Took out more loans. And away I went. 
Now I'm 25, 2 full years out of law school, and …

When I was in 1L, someone at another law school, running another blog, said this was their mantra for #finalshell - Jillian Michaels was like their evil Anti-Patronus always screaming  "Unless You Faint, Puke, Or Die, Keep Working" like an evil spirit that instead of protecting you from the awful things, pushes you further and further into them. 
Finals is a whole other beast in law school. You have too much to do, too little time to do it, and no matter how on top of your workload you were through the rest of the semester, you are still  behind. Many students forgo personal hygiene and appearance during this time in order to preserve the limited number of hours in the day for more studying. 
I hate this mentality. I hated the people who wanted to compare review schedules to see who was studying more hours. I hated the idea that people who were subsisting on less than five hours of sleep were heroes to the rest of us because "wow think of how much time they have to get…

August creeping up on people has a similar effect no matter what stage of your life you're in. "Dear God, is summer already almost over??" is a pretty universal sentiment. 
But August also tends to bring with it a slew of 0Ls asking for advice on what they should do to "prepare" for law school. Full disclosure: I always hated you eager beavers. But since I continue to get this question year after year, here I am giving you the breakdown. For the soon-to-be 2L and 3L's, let me tell you, a little refresher in self-care is never a bad idea before you re-submerge yourself in the 3rd circle of hell. 
First, throw aside the idea that you should be reading primers, supplementaries, or getting a headstart on the required stuff. Put the law textbook down, you maniac. 
You are literally paying thousands of dollars to law school and law professors so they can teach you to think like a lawyer.  Stop attempting to study and ruining the natural order. You are supposed t…